Moving Forward - By Bike

I had an amazing bike ride yesterday - ten miles - a beautiful morning - short but long in coming. I felt like me for the first time in a long time. I rode and thought of nothing, I rode and cried about no first day of school, I rode and thought about how fortunate I am. I rode ten miles and it was amazing. Part of my ride was through the cemetery, that will put things into perspective. I am also very happy with bike jerseys with big pockets.

I was worried about this week but I have made it through and kept busy and survived not having a first day of school. Not going to say I didn’t cry about it but I made it and can see other paths. I talked to another recently retired teacher this week and I told him I had not really been ready to stop teaching. He told me that was the best time to retire, while I still loved it. Good advice.

I have not had any cancer related treatments for two weeks and I am happy at how my body is bouncing back. I have more energy, the side effects are ebbing. But as I am feeling so much better I still have fear sitting on my shoulder, what is going on in my body now that there is nothing stopping the cancer? I will be glad to go to my September check up but I am also so scared to go. Trying to live in the now and not worry, but damn that is hard sometimes.

It IS all about the bike

The bike is our first taste of freedom

It is burning legs and lungs

It is brutal ascents and screaming descents

It is meditation

It is where life gets sorted out

It is a place for big decisions

It is about snakes, coyotes, foxes, deer, and a hawks

It is about the sun and wind

The bike is always freedom

It IS about the bike