Goals Make The Difference

I have never been a goal setter. I mean I have not been aimlessly going through life but I don’t sit down and think about goals and how to break them down to meet them. My goals are more spur of the moment ideas and then I just do it, not a lot of planning. An example would be I read a flier about National Board Certification forever ago, and pretty much decided on the spot to do it. I had no real idea just what I had signed up for, but it worked out. I have had a pretty great and successful life so spur of the moment goal style has worked for me.

With a cancer diagnosis goals took on a different twist for me. I remember the doctor telling me after the first surgery that I had cancer and my first worry was not wanting to miss Anna graduating from college. As the prognosis has gone up and down but never gone away, having long and short term goals has been, quite frankly, what has kept me in the game.

A year and a half ago goal was to see Anna graduate from high school. That is the most long term goal I have ever had. All the treatments were the little steps to help make it possible. As her graduation date came closer I planned even more. I knew I wanted to be strong and last all day so my plan was to let myself sleep and rest for the two days before to fill my tank as full as possible. We managed a handicapped spot so I didn’t have to walk quite as far, Cherie drove because driving takes a lot of energy. I just thought about every step to get me to that goal.

The day was fantastic and it was a wonderful graduation, I even had the energy for a graduation dinner with the family. It was perfect! It was important for so many reasons.

Some of my other goals have come and gone with success - celebrating my 27th anniversary with Cherie. We didn't really do much but we made it to 27, not easy even when everyone is healthy. I sure am lucky she has been my partner in life all this time.

I bought tickets for the whole family to go to Fan Expo (think comic con) five months in advance with the hope I could make that goal. Again we prepared by doing small things ahead of time to be ready for it. Me doing a lot of resting, Cherie doing the packing, creating lists of what we needed, and getting snacks for the room. I used a wheelchair so I would not get as tired as fast, and we had handicapped parking. Cherie did all the packing of the car and lugging the stuff to our hotel room. Breaking the goal down and having it out there for so long made it happen. We had a good time, it was nice to get back to con life even if it had to look a little different.

My life works best with big goals now.

My next goal is flying to New York to see Anna off to college in October. The prep and small steps for that are so many, and Cherie is doing most of the heavy lifting to make it happen. My part is to stay as healthy as possible so I have the strength to go. Cherie already has a hotel with a larger refrigerator to hold my TPN. The big hurdle is setting up the flight around my TPN and then actually executing it. It is going to be hard to rest in the days prior to leaving, I have a feeling we will be living in a bit of chaos in the days before we go. This goal is probably the biggest so far because of all the moving parts but we are going to make it happen. We will break it down as new hurdles arise.

I have other goals even further out to work towards: Tuba Christmas concert in December of 2023, after making it last year right after surgery this year should be easy. Next year I want to celebrate 28 years together with Cherie a little bigger (taking some advice from Claudia there). My most long term goal is seeing Anna graduate in two years from her program in New York, that will be the pinnacle of all the goals.

My days are easier to get through with these goals, funny to need them so much now after a life that was so much less driven by future events.