Body Image and Disease

Here is another of the things we don’t think about when we do not have cancer or some other serious medical issue - what it does to a person's body image. I am going to talk about it from a cancer point of view as that is my lens but I am sure this is true of any disease or its treatment that changes a person’s body.

I went into this cancer healthy and happy with my body. Yeah I had gained a couple extra pounds after menopause but nothing I was unhappy with. I liked my strong cycling legs, and relatively flat, strong stomach, not bad for a 56 year old. I was happy with the skin I was in.

But now, 14 months into cancer and treatment I barely recognize my body. My strong legs are gone, my stomach is distended from whatever the hell is going on in my abdomen with the cancer, I have a nephrostomy bag hanging off my back and an ileostomy bag hanging off the front - both are super sexy because what screams cool more than having you body functions hanging on the out side. I have new scars, I especially struggle with the one that goes from my pubic bone up past my belly button - it is not a good look. Those are just some changes that I can see. There are changes that are not so easy to see that still impact body image. Being immunocompromised makes me feel less strong. Neuropathy in my feet makes me worry about falling and not being steady. All of this impacts how you live in your body and look in a mirror.

I think about people who have breast cancer and the radical change a mastectomy has on their body and self image. They have to make major decisions around reconstruction or not on top of still dealing with the cancer and possible other treatments. Treatment is brutal for this disease. And yes, we are grateful to be alive but it doesn’t make the changes in our bodies any less real or difficult to accept. What about that person with bone cancer who now is cancer free but missing a leg. And yes, still grateful but wow, a whole new reality. I could go on, with every cancer it seems something changes dramatically about your body when going through treatment. You lose something.

People with cancer aren’t just living with cancer, which is shitty enough, they are dealing with living a new reality in a very different body. A body that is alive but forever changed. Looking in the mirror may always be hard now. I don’t think of this as vanity. Much of our self worth is tied up in how we perceive ourselves, being happy in our own skin is challenging without cancer. Not wanting to look at yourself in a mirror, have your picture taken or be seen naked sucks.

Be careful when talking to people who are in the cancer treatment phase or those who are in remission. They may still be struggling mightily with self image. They may not need you to comment on how they look or they need a compliment - person to person dependent.

Just tread lightly and think about what you would feel if to stay alive you lost your breasts, some of your cognitive function is gone, you now have lymphedema, you are bald from chemo, you have lost or gained a lot of weight, you now need a walker. How happy would you be in that new body?